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Dialogue with a developer

28 Jan'14

Working with team members that aren't at your physical location can be difficult at the best of times. I've recently had the pleasure of working with some less-than-reliable consultants—let me paint you a word-picture of how that turned out.

Me
"Do this tiny job. Simple, well-defined scope, should be a cinch."
Them
"Easy, it will be done tomorrow."
*2 weeks passes*
Me
"Where's that job?"
Them
"Sorry, here's a link to the dev site where the code is working perfectly."
Me
"Awesome! Can you send me the code?"
Them
"No worries, I've committed it to GIT."
Me
"Umm, I've tested it… it appears to simply add a dancing squirrel to the page???"
Them
"Did you rebuild the database?"
Me
"Yes. I've tried everything. Please confirm ASAP, the client has been waiting for this for 2 weeks already."
*1 day passes*
Them
"Okay, fixed it."
Me
"I just tested, I still only see the squirrel. Why are his balls so big anyway?"
*1 day passes*
Them
"Okay, I fixed it, checkout from GIT."
Me
"I just tested and the squirrel is gone but most of the functionality is still not there. Am I missing something? Are there some steps I need to follow to enable the additional functionality?"
*3 days pass*
Them
"My mistake, should be working now."
Me
"It's still not working? Where is X and Y and Z?"
*1 day passes*
Them
"I've updated the code, let me know how it goes."
Me
"No, I still don't have it. Do I need to do something to enable it? Should I send you a database? If I promise you my first born will you please do the work as requested and agreed???"
*2 days pass*
Them
"Oh, there was something missing from X. I've fixed it."
Me
"Thank you, but Y still appears to be broken. Can you confirm you can get this done today? The client is screaming at me and has twice sent anthrax to my office."
*1 day passes*
Them
"Oh yes, I didn't fix that one."
Me
"…Would you? Please?"
Still Waiting…

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